When Money Is Used as Control in Relationships
How Financial Abuse Can Show Up in Domestic Violence
Financial abuse is a common but often overlooked part of domestic violence. It occurs when one partner uses money or financial resources to gain power or control within a relationship. This can include limiting access to bank accounts or credit cards, controlling how money is spent, withholding financial information, or interfering with someone’s ability to work or earn income. These behaviors may develop gradually and can exist alongside other forms of control.
Access to money is closely connected to safety, stability, and choice. Advocates consistently find that financial abuse is present in the vast majority of domestic violence cases and is a significant reason people may remain in, return to, or struggle to leave unsafe relationships. When someone does not have reliable access to financial resources, everyday decisions — such as housing, healthcare, transportation, or supporting children — can become much more difficult.
Forms of Financial Abuse
Like other forms of abuse, financial abuse can begin subtly and may become more restrictive over time. In some relationships, one partner may take on greater responsibility for managing money — particularly during periods of stress or transition — and financial decisions may slowly become less shared. Over time, this can shift into a pattern where one person has increasing control over financial information, access, or decision-making.
In other situations, financial control may be more direct, with one partner limiting the other’s ability to work, earn income, or access family funds. Whether subtle or more overt, these patterns can be difficult to recognize while they are happening. Understanding the different ways financial control can show up helps bring clarity to experiences that may otherwise feel confusing or hard to name.
Ways Financial Control Can Show Up
(These patterns can look different in every relationship.)
Limiting access to bank accounts, credit cards, or financial information
Controlling how money is spent or requiring approval for everyday purchases
Interfering with someone’s ability to work, earn income, or pursue training
Withholding money needed for basic expenses like food, medicine, or transportation
Creating debt in another person’s name or damaging shared credit
Monitoring or questioning spending in ways that create fear or pressure